Excerpts of the ad:

Here's who you have to be — crazy passionate about cheese and you have to love food, and want to know where it comes from. You have to love people, and want to treat our customers like royalty to help take the intimidation away from gourmet. You must be enthusiastic so that it spills over to the customer. You have to understand that we are in the customer service business.

You must not have any kind of attitude, entitlement issues, and limit the use of “like” (as in — “this cheese is like, really, like good”) to once a day. You can be a little quirky. Maybe you loved art history, or wrote poetry instead of handing in your algebra homework? Maybe you didn't know where to fit in and you're still looking for that place to thrive? Maybe you're a hipster? You can have tattoos, but not ones all over your face that might scare our customers. You can also be a total geek nerd. You must be clean. You must be organized. You must love to keep things clean and organized. You have to feel comfortable in your own skin. You need to be able to take directions easily, and cheerfully. And you must follow through. You must play well with others. You must be a good listener and not talk too much. You must be able to take direction. It's hard work and you have to be able to work hard.

You need to be a storyteller and want to talk just the right amount about cheese, small batch artisan products. You can't be late, or have a history of calling in sick with silly excuses.
We've heard them all before. All of them. You have to be curious. If you don't have an encyclopedic knowledge of cheese, you must want to learn. Please don't be annoying, surly, or needy. It goes without saying you have to be honest, and love to help people. We are not interested in people who are prima donnas or dons. If you have a tendency to look for the blame in others, then we won't get along.

We're a small locally owned business, this is not a negotiation, it's a pretty straightforward job posting. We can promise you a respectful and safe workplace. We can offer you a nurturing environment where you can learn and grow. We're a small business, not a franchise. We'll train you. We'll find your talents. We are fair. Kind. Happy.

For the full ad visit artisancheesecompany.com/hiring/